When you accept somebody's offer for help, whether it's in the form of food, crash space, money, or love, you have to trust the help offered. You can't accept things halfway and walk through the door with your guard up.
When you openly, radically trust people, they not only take care of you, they become your allies, you familly.
Sometime people prove themselves unworthy. When that happent the correct response is not:
"Fuck, I knew I couldn't trust anybody!"
The correct response is:
"Some people just suck."
Moving right along.
So I started a band.
And we were loud.
We had no guitars; it was just me on the piano and the micro-phone and Brian Viglione, who stumbled into my life like a long-lost musical soul-twin, on the drums. Our minimal setup didn't limit our sonic power in the slighest: the drums alone defeaned people, and i cranked my electric piano to match. Brian had be reared on a steady diet of metal, jazz and hardcore punk, and he hit the drums like a smoke-choked victim pounding on the exit door of a burning building; for him, commitment to the religion of drumming was his gateway to redemption. And I played piano the same way, seeking salvation through volume.
Everybody struggle with asking.
From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us -it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen a a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.
There is a difference between asking and begging : the mutual respect between the parties. Begging do not allow the possibility to deny your proposal.